I've been thinking a lot about things people tell you that you can or cannot do. Sometimes people shoot your dreams down, sometimes it's something little, or sometimes it feels like your whole world.
You're not supposed to be a know-it-all. When you're in elementary and middle school, it makes everyone pretty much hate you. When you're in high school, it means you're a teacher's pet or you're trying too hard. However, when you get to college people tend to envy you or look up to you. You actually know what you're talking about and you're blessed with knowing or having that confidence.
You have to be pretty. As females, we learn at a young age that make up is important and you shouldn't go without it. In middle school, it seems to be a fad to wear a lot of it. In high school, it's a necessity that can make or break you. You can't be too big, because then you're fat. You can't be too small, because then you're anorexic. I don't know if you've looked around recently, but people come in all different shapes and sizes. I can honestly say that I do not know one female in my life that has or does not complain about the way she looks. I can also say that I do not know one male that complains about the way he looks (unless it's about his hair after wearing a hat all day).
That's not to say that men don't care or don't get upset about the way they look; men don't generally vocalize it, women do.
People have all different sorts of lifestyles; sports are one of those things. Different sports tend to give you a different build. Football players and basketball players don't generally look the same; swimmers and softball players don't generally look the same.
Your dreams have to be realistic. We see movie stars and musicians in the media all the time. People tend to care more about that than what's going on around the world. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I don't know if you've ever watched the news, but almost every single story is something depressing. People have enough pain in their everyday life that it's nice to escape and worry about who's breaking up with who, or who just landed a new movie.
A lot of these stars are actually doing good in the world. Ian Somerhalder has his own foundation that works on different projects with people to help benefit everyone and everything. He also recently joined UNEP, which is a United Nations environmental group. Taylor Swift has donated a lot of money to different places, including things like helping teens who have cancer, and visiting a lot of different hospitals. Zach Galifianakis helps take care of an older lady that he's really good friends with, and he has recently started trying to raise money in order to fund a documentary about her life.
I know this is a bit of a tangent, but stay with me. What are all these stars known for? Ian Somerhalder is recognized more for The Vampire Diaries or people concerned with how attractive he is. People constantly complain about Taylor Swift and whoever she's currently dating and how she's "always" dating someone, (as a side note, she's been single for over a year and a half) and Zach Galifianakis is mostly known for being a comedian.
When you mention to someone how you would love to be in the entertainment industry, people always mention how hard it is to make it. However, it generally isn't the realistic type of advice. It's usually something along the lines of "You can't be a movie star because you're not good enough." "No one makes it into the music industry so you can't do it." This brings me back to my main point. People constantly tell you that you aren't good enough, for whatever reason they have in their head. The only time you are good enough is for something that someone else wants you to do. You're supposed to work hard, go to college, and get a job. You're supposed to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life at, roughly, 18 years old. This is also the time you are considered an adult. Except there are still plenty of things that you can't do until you're 21. So you aren't technically an adult until you're 21, but you're still supposed to make a decision for the rest of your life at some point in those four years, and acquire a lot of college debt while you do so. So if you change your mind, you're probably going to be out of luck.
I have a lot of friends who are music majors, theater majors, or art majors. A lot of them have mentioned that they've been told multiple times that they shouldn't have gone into their major, for whatever reason. As an English major, I've been told how hard it is to be a writer. Being a writer isn't even my main reason for being an English major. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard one of those writer jokes. "What's the difference between a park bench and a writer? A park bench can support a family." I've also heard this joke told with pizza and feed. I originally wanted to go into something that could get me a career as a detective, or something in law enforcement. I was told that it was unsafe and unrealistic.
Sometimes you have to do things for you. It's not bad to hold on to your dreams, whether you wanted to be a firefighter, an astronaut, an actor, a musician, or a veterinarian, or maybe a chef. It can be really hard to hold on to your dreams, especially when people tell you that you can't do it. I was also told as a kid that you can do anything you can put your mind to, but that seems to be something that is harder to keep in mind. It takes about 5 positive comments to outweigh one negative comment.
One of my friends in college (a fellow English major) is absolutely brilliant. She knows about stuff that I can only dream about knowing. I also know that she has problems just like everyone else. Just because you know a lot doesn't mean your life is magically easy. But I also know that she doesn't let what anyone says get her down. She does what she does for herself, and she doesn't care what anyone says about her. That's one of the things I admire most about her.
Sometimes it's just about surrounding yourself with people who believe in you, but more than that, you have to be able to believe in yourself. It isn't easy, but you have to start somewhere. You don't need to change yourself for someone else, you need to do it for you. It can start with getting rid of the negativity around you, but more than that, you have to get rid of the negativity in yourself.
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