Poems and Stuff...

I thought I'd try something new out. As it has been a very long time since I posted a thing. Clearly. But I am actually writing all the time, and I've been writing a lot of poetry, among other things. So I'm going to try posting some of my poems now and then. Some of them will be new, some old, and I may or may not throw out when I wrote them as well. It will be lots of varying subject matter, and I am definitely open to feedback, by which I mean constructive criticism. Feel free to tell me what you liked and what you didn't, but please do so in a manner that gives me suggestions on how to fix things or why they didn't work. (If you tell me you don't like an entire poem, that isn't going to be constructive, or helpful.) But I do love helpful feedback! Anyway, poems. Yay. Testing, 1, 2, 3. Today's post will include two poems for perusing, one that I wrote a couple months ago and one I wrote last year, in no particular order. Comments and feedback much appreciated.



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Some days, the bad days, I feel weak

Insignificant

Like there is too much of me to contain in such a small space

Because, of course, I do not deserve to occupy it.

But then some days, the good days, I feel strong

Invincible

Like I am a force to be reckoned with

Because there is no space big enough to contain me.

Those are the days when the sun is shining (Even if it doesn’t feel true)

And the good days, they almost make up for the bad ones.

They almost make up for the days when I don’t have the energy to leave my bed,

Or have to cancel long-awaited plans and bail on my friends.

The good days almost make up for the bad days (I have to believe that)

Because the good days are

When I am truly happy (I am enough).

Depression

It is a monster I cannot fight.

Something that hides and skulks, and bides its time.

It is an impenetrable darkness.

The kind of darkness that frightens and destroys.

It is a dragon I cannot tame.

Rather it is something out of nightmares, too big to contain, even to fully understand its power.

It is the inevitable.

Something I cannot avoid, that hovers, watching, waiting for me to slip up.

Some days it is the monster. I can get out of bed, I can function, I am doing great. But then, at the end of the day, it shows up to remind me I am still alone.

Some days it is the darkness. I am too afraid to speak, to leave my house. Too afraid to ask for help. Even though I know I need help to fight my way out of the darkness.

Some days it is the dragon. I cannot grasp why everything feels wrong, but it does. No matter what I do or say, I am physically weak and mentally incapable of functioning.

On the worst days, it is inevitable.

And some days, it is everything; the monster, the darkness, the dragon, and the inevitable. And I cannot get out of bed. All I can do is curl up in a ball and go to sleep, where even my nightmares will be too tired of fighting to haunt me.