More Poems

So for today, I thought I'd throw out a couple poems. Neither of which are going to be happy, but c'est la vie. The first is one of my favorite things I have ever written, which, given that I wrote it over two years ago and there are plenty of other things I wrote over two years ago that I do not like, says a lot. The second was something I wrote that essentially was a re-visit to one of my friend's death. So definitely not happy stuff today. But as a writer, they are both pieces I am incredibly proud of, so there you go. You have been warned. (And as always, comments and constructive criticism are welcome.)

Shattered Reflection

Your life is like a fantasy

To everyone but you

You sparkle and shine in front of a crowd

But on your own, the façade you’ve concocted shatters

You disintegrate like glass

And if I prick myself on your edges, I bleed

Red mixing with the transparency of crystal

You bear scars—but no one sees them

How can you show off something you regret?

You’re the opposite of me—

how can I forget?

When we are mirrored, my flaws are emphasized

But you don’t see them

You only see beauty

And I don’t understand.

Because all I see is my own pain, my own scars

Reflected in you

And you are not broken,

But I think I am.

Bullet Holes

Sinking feeling, something’s wrong

Something happened

What happened

Body’s numb

Panicked feeling

One phone call is all it takes to change everything

One phone call is all it took to change everything

He’s gone

Long gone, red gone, dead gone

Friend gone

Can’t be gone cause I’m still here

Can’t breathe

Can’t think

Can’t cry

Already crying, not breathing

Nauseated feeling

He shot himself

Bullet in the head

Bullet in my heart

Roommate found him

Bloody mess

Feel bad for the roommate

But the roommate’s not dead

Dead

Dead

Long gone, red gone, dead gone

Friend gone

Can’t be

I knew

Should have known

Didn’t know, couldn’t know

My fault my fault my fault

I knew

Didn’t know, couldn’t know

It had been over a year since that last time

Six months since I’d seen him

Can’t breathe

Body numb, tingling

Sinking feeling

Nauseated

Crying

Have to stop crying

Can’t stop crying

Shaking, body shaking

Band-Aids can’t fix the bullet hole

Bullet hole in my heart

No one cares he’s gone

Life keeps moving world keeps spinning

People say it’s selfish

He is never selfish

He was never selfish

Gone

Long gone, red gone, dead gone

Friend gone

Best friend

Miss him

Bullet in my heart